A Slight Correction Or Two

Thing #143: There were a couple of errors in my last post.

As is tradition, and possibly law, in the 'news' business, I will now make corrections in the same section where the error was originally printed. This is not because I am under the impression that this blog is 'news,' but rather because this blog only has one section.

Error 1: I made a slight mathematical error, something that has become somewhat commonplace around my house. I stated that we had 55 posts last year, when, in fact, as astute observer and sometime contributor, Inebriated Chimpanzee pointed out, we had 56 posts.

Error 2: I incorrectly identified the author of "A PBS Companion" as Frank Stewart, but upon picking back up to read the chapter on Julia Child (awesome!) I realized his real name is David Stewart. I was a tad confused here.

Error 3: Writing a post to correct these errors instead of editing them in the original post an hoping no one noticed.

There you have it. Now I can sleep tonight.

Kiwifruit

Frankly, It's Been a Good Year

Thing #142: Today is Frank Wiseman's birthday.

Frank Wiseman made a series of groundbreaking documentaries for public television. I just thought it was interesting that I began a chapter on him in Frank Stewarts, "The PBS Companion" practically on his birthday.

Also, on an administrative note, 2008 was a banner year. After a slow (read, non-existent) 2007, we roared back, adding two new contributors and reached a record 55 posts on the year. Next year, we break 60. Or not. Whatever.

Kiwifruit

I Know You're Reading This

Thing #139: Somebody checks this blog on Tuesday.

I know this because I have a tracker set up to send me emails. Everytime I get it it looks something like this

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As you might assume, I did not put much work into this recreation. Also, you might assume that the dash way up in the air represents Tuesday. It does. So, to whomever checks us out Tuesday, however many people you might be, more power to you.

Also, to whomever is not checking us out Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday, I say, "Why not?!"

I'll give Friday a break. Really, who's lame enough to check a blog post on Friday . . . Oh, wait, that'd be me.

Kiwifruit

And Then There Were Three . . .

Thing #114: The key to consistancy is getting other people to do stuff for you.

That's why we added at least one (1) new writer and possibly two (2). Now, let me just assuage any concerns you might have about our blog lower its standards. We don't have any. You know that. But, seriously, we have made sure that our new additions to the Things I Know family have all the qualities that make this blog great: a fascination with life, a random sense of humor, relation to the current writer by marriage and the inability to post on a regular basis.

Actually part of the idea is that if there are three (3) or four (4) of us posting here the liklihood of going long period without posting (i.e. 2007) go down at least a little. We'll see how that goes. At any rate, we welcome Sweet Talker, who just happens to my wife.

Kiwifruit

The Ups and Downs of Optimissim

Thing #105: People used to read this blog.

Do they still? I'm not sure. For all the months I posted I had no idea, but lately I have been reading through old posts and have found comments from many readers I never knew we had. I confess it gives me a new found ferver for posting on a more regular basis. I shall endeavor to be a more optimisstic person in the future.

Except maybe when it comes to the Flyers. I tried being optimistic, but that got me nowhere. One more game and we're done for the post season.

Ah, it's good to be back.

The Chimp, back and better than ever

Stalling Out On Memory Lane

Thing #100: I love special events.

You know things like the Superbowl, the Stanley Cup Playoffs (GO FLYERS!!!), Series/Season Finales on TV, Weddings, 100th Blog Posts. Yes, it's true, this is my 100th blog post. And it only took 3 -1/2 years. 2-1/2 if you don't count the missing year (2007, 0 posts). At any rate this seems like as good a time as any to look back and say, "What were we thinking?!" So, now the moment you have absolutely not been waiting for . . .

THE TOP 10 THINGS WE'VE LEARNED:

10. You can fix a sandal with ducttape (Thing #58, MacGyver Could've, 06-20-05)

9. The best way to get instant name recognition in a group, is to bring cookies. (Thing #92, Now All I Need Is Some Milk, 03-02-08)

8. Severed chicken heads can be cute. (Thing #80, Chicken Heads and Other Items, 01-16-06)

7. Just because you think someone you know may have liked a movie, doesn't mean you should rent the remake. (Thing #74, Be Careful Whom You Fly With, 12-24-05)

6. Before removing the LED from an FS-C5016 (This is a color printer) you must "sufficiently do let escape the static electricity which is electrified in the human body concerning the metal part and the like of the aqueduct faucet, after that do work.*" (Thing #88, Like an Aqueduct, Eh?, 02-28-08)

5. If your boss leaves you to answer phones and they don't ring for a long period of time, get suspicious. (Thing# 48, Your Call Is Very Important to Us . . ., 05-20-05)

4. If the teacher asks, "Do they still throw chairs on Jerry Springer?" Don't be too quick to answer. (Thing #33, And You Know This How?, 01-20-05)

3. Handzi the stuffed sloth can fit all the way through the ice dispenser on our refrigerator. (Thing # 1, It Begins, 11-24-04)

2. When you go to take off a flat tire, make sure the parking brake is engaged. (Thing #41, On a Roll, 04-21-05)

1. There are some problems that can only be solved with an eight pound sledge-hammer. (Thing #47, WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!, 05-17-05)

There you have it. I was going to do commentary on each one, but that seems a bit excessive now. Maybe I'll save that for 200. I will, however, copy the footnote that goes with the asterisk on #6. Aren't I so nice.

Kiwifruit

*- Kyocera KM-5016 Service Manual (Rev. 1.4)

Laughing Like A Danish

Thing #99: Every letter in Matt is the first on it's respective number on a standard cell phone.

I just programmed my friend Matt's new number in my phone. I thought this was cool. In case you haven't notice I could have major surgery (which I haven't) and you would never know from reading this blog, but this make it on here. Personally I think these insights are much more interesting. So do the 0 people who read my blog regularly. You can't argue with statistics.

Also, you should know that I was going to blog on here about what a good sense of humor the Danes have, and how the world would be so much better if we were all like them. That would've been silly. In case you were wondering Matt isn't Danish. He might like danishes, but then again, who doesn't? Think about that for while. Then go have a danish.

Kiwifruit















P.S. I accidently leaned on the enter button and didn't want all the enters to go to waste. Excited about post 100? Oh well, at least I am.

Spring, Here We Come

Thing #97: If Spring won't come to you, you've got to go to Spring.

March and it's still snowing in New York.

That's why I'm in Alabama.

I'm typing this from my father's giant orange armchair.

I love vacations.

Kiwifruit

Taxes: "Just Say Hold"

Thing #95: There is something worse than being on hold . . . being on hold with the IRS.

It's true, I had to call the IRS recently. And when you have to call the IRS, you HAVE to call the IRS. So I called. Then I spent the next 20 minutes on hold listening to what Katherine suspected was "The Nutcracker Suite." I could not verify this. My favorite part though, what the pleasant, generic sounding voice which would chime in every so often and remind me that all associates were busy with other customers. Customers?! Seriously?

Don't get me wrong, I understand this is probably just a generic message, but it just seems a bit wrong. Having the IRS refer to me as their "customer" seemed akin to having the guy who just mugged me thank me for my business. Weird.

At this point I should say that I fear the tone of my posts have been getting more and more negative. Several months of winter will do that. So here's some positive stuff.

I'm going to see my family in Alabama at the end of next week. Woohoo! Also, my in-laws are letting us house sit for them this weekend. They have good cable. Woohoo! I also still love racquetball and am getting better at it. My favorite moment from last nights game was when Rob had me analyze what I did wrong when I missed. The second one, I swung at, or so I thought, but was nowhere near it. My analysis for what I did wrong? "I didn't hit the ball." Duh. At least it got a laugh. I love laughing. I'm going to go laugh with my wife now. Funny movie. Steve Carrell. Enjoy life. Say no to drugs (unless your doctor prescribes them.) This post is quickly devolving into chaos. I'm ending it now.

Kiwifruit

File Under Procrastination

Thing #89: I can give my blog labels.

I guess I'm a bit of an organizational freak. I just love the though of all 89 and counting blog posts being neatly sorted by subject, ect. I promised myself I'd be off by 7:20. I haven't made it. Now, if only I could organize my real files this well.

Kiwifruit

P.S. Katherine, I am also getting the list of things you left me done. (Insert innocent smile here.)

Who's Bright Idea Was That?

The green lettering on this blog is too bright. I need to change that. I have no earthly idea, why I thought anyone would or could read that. This blog is dead . . . well . . . mostly dead at least. Fortunately I know CPR. Unfortunately, I don't really have time for that now.

I'm going to sleep. Maybe I'll post again. Maybe not. Maybe the world will implode tonight. This last possibility is extremely remote. Did I mention I'm going to sleep.

A Little Light Reading

Every journey begins with a step. Like this one:

The night was dark, and seared forever in Ian Elliot's mind. What had started as a beautiful evening with friends erupted into chaos and tragedy, as men, women and children rushed to escape Silent Mountain, the lavish estate of Chester Winfield.Three years later, life has returned to normal . . . or has it?

Strange new abilities and recurring visions slowly draw these same people back to Silent Mountain, in search of answers. But, the place that once brought them together threatens to divide them again as fear and paranoia set it in. Will life ever be the same for those changed by Silent Mountain?

I'm writing a novel on another blog. Check it out here ----> http://silentmountain.blogspot.com

Flaming Kiwifruit

I Have Fans

For starters, people actually read this. Thanks so much to Djere and Kate for reaffirming my faith in the human spirit and the fact that anyone can get readership on the internet.

Now to my fans. I have a fan base . . . I suppose. You know those fanatical followers who dress like you and go out in public parading around as you. No, not the stalker ones, the good ones. Okay, so maybe I don't actually have fans, but I did convince my friend and ex-roommate, Matt, to go to our schools masquarade as me. I didn't actually get to see him, but he called me to get a shirt (one of the plaid ones I where around campus everywhere). Sure enough I get back here and my brown and greenish-bluish-greyish shirt, the epitome of Phil style, is gone. I just hope he gets pictures.

POST-SCRIPT (2-29-08): I actually heard later that he had people coming up to him and asking him, "Are you supposed to be Phil?" Score!