And You Know This, How?

If the teacher asks, "Do they still throw chairs on Jerry Springer?" Don't be to quick to answer. That poor girl. I'm sure she regretted that. For the record they still do . . .

Flaming Kiwifruit

Occupational Hazards

I have occupational hazards . . . or rather an occupational hazard. Yes, sadly today while I was sorting the junk mail we were sending out (sorry about that) I recieved a ghastly paper cut the size of Cincinatti or an "I" on this page. Seem somehow fitting though, like the junk mail was saying, "If I can't ruin your life enough by overcrowding your mail box, then I'll just resort to physical assault." So, remember when you get all that junk mail and want to call down fire to consume whoever sent it to you, whoever sent it to you hates junk mail just as much, if not more than you . . .

Flaming Kiwifruit

Free Kiwi!

Apparently, Daryl is a unisex name, or so says the parenting magazine we found in the mailroom. Additionally, Oslo and Oona are viable male names, and, much to my chagrin, Kiwi is a viable female name . . . I'm starting a revolution. "FREE KIWI!!!!!!!!!"

The Flaming ----fruit

(Insert Clever Title Here)

. . . That I don't learn much when I sit around all day doing nothing on my vacations from school.

And, that the cat can NOT fit all the way through the ice dispenser on our refridgerator.

The Chimp

Get Yo' Own Muse, Punk!

Apparently, the phrase, 'Get yo' muse on!' is taboo in this household.

Also, size 54 underwear makes a bad gift. Thankfully I learned this second-hand.

Flaming Kiwifruit

Cheap CD's: Not So "Groovy"

There's a reason CD's are marked down to 25 cents. The following lyrics are among them.

1. Take a look at what Jesus did, I think that's so groovy. The living Word, God walking in the flesh, and I think that it's so groovy. (Scarecrow and Tinman, "Groovy")

2. Just then I noticed a sign. It read, "Renew your soul through Jesus at Exit 39." I walked through an open door and I statrted to listen . . . I saw water turn to wine at Exit 39 - Down at Exit 39." (John Elefante, Exit 39)

3. "Hold on as tight as you can, we're gonna blast upon this land with a supersonic kind of love dripping from God's Bionic Son." (Scarecrow and Tinman, "Bionic Son")

Need I say more... Well, it's not all bad. Rick Elias', Blink is quite good. I still haven't gotten brave enough to try This Trains', Mimes of the Old West... Yeah, we were desperate at 4 (it was 4 for $1 or 88 cents apeice.).

Additionally, there is no button on my keyboard for the little cent symbol. Happy New Year.

Flaming Kiwifruit

The Last Man

The last name listed on the credits for "The Return of the King" is . . .


(appropriate dramatic drum roll to build suspense)


Dang, I forgot . . . HA! Just kidding. It's investment consultant Richard Reiner.

All I have to say is, "Richie, you da MAN!" Or was it, "I cannot believe I just wasted all that time looking through the credits for that!" At any rate, now you're life is complete.

Flaming Kiwifruit