Hymn and Hur

There are any number of great hymns in the church history. I already knew that. However I did not realize there were so many . . . "misguided" hymn. My personal favorites:

1. Hold the Fort (no, by all means, don't go out and fight, just hold the fort.)
2. I've Got My Religon (well, that should be at least enough to hold the fort.)
3. Slip Away Home (pastor going long again? gotta admit, i've wanted to sing this before!)
4. Too Late To Pray (sounds positively cheerful. probably a big hit at funerals.)
5. It's Just Like Heaven (then why would we need the real thing?)

Granted, these may be great hymns, but the titles sure got me. Right up there with Switchfoot's "Might Have Ben Hur." How lame can you get? Maybe I'll learn that tomorrow.

Additionally, I learned that saving your homework for when you get back to campus after break is a bad idea. Especially when you have an eight (8) hour drive. Okay, more like seven (7), but I don't know how that happened.

I also realized tonight that I have this blog, because the world deserves to hear my humor. I figure the world must have done something pretty bad to deserves that. Oh, well. Good night.

Flaming Kiwifruit

I Am Greatly Disturbed . . .

I heard that a toilet is an appliance. This I did not know yesterday. Something about the idea that a toilet and a blender are one in the same disturbs me greatly. Many things I hear from my family disturb me greatly. My family disturbs me greatly.

The Chimp

My Dad with the Wrench in the Foyer

I did not know you could fix a kitchen chair with a pipe wrench. My father seems to believe you can. As I previously stated, I am quite skeptical of such things.

Flaming Kiwifruit, who is not putting a little 'mood indicator' by his name!

Turkey a la Kiwi

Happy Thanksgiving everyone . . .

This Thanksgiving I have learned one important thing . . . My borther is the real turkey . . . Thanksgiving carol! Sheesh!!!

The Chimp, Soon to be cheerful and bloated

Thankzgivin' Hamma' Style

This spiffy new Thanksgiving Carol:

I'm . . . too thankful for my shirt
Too thankful for my socks
Too thankful for my earmuffs . . .

Well you get the point. Have a great Thanksgiving everybody.

Flaming Kiwifruit

Choose Orange, Save a Life!

I did not know yesterday that I could change the color of my fonts. Wow. That is impressive indeed. From now on, Chimp can be distinguished from the lesser . . . fruit boy . . . by her far superior font color choice of ORANGE! Do not forgot this vital information. It could save your life some day!

The Chimp, Inebriated as Ever!

Gooten Niten Heimer

The phrase "Gooten Niten Heimer" (Kiwiesque for "Good Night") is even cooler spelled out, than said aloud. Who'da thunk it.

Flaming Kiwifruit

Night Drilling

Item #1: To a sleeping parent, a mixer and an electrical drill can sound very similar. The funny part was when my sis admited it was her using a mixer and my dad asked, "What are you guys drilling?" Which leads me to . . .

Item #2: Parents can be quite amusing when they are groggy and delirious . . .

Flaming Kiwifruit

Spiffy Blog Feature

I n0w know that we can each sign in on our own and still contribute to the blog. You can hold on to individuality while sharing a blog! Additionally, all of my post will now be in this cool green color to help you distinguish.

Flaming Kiwifruit

From the Offices of 'Fat and Happy'

I did not know yesterday that my Father believes that the minuet is so named because it only lasts a minute. I think I was supposed to say that I did not know that a minuet was a minute, but I am skeptical of such things. I did know that yesterday.

Additionally, I did not know I was 'fat and happy' yesterday, but by my approximation, that is a rather good combination and I am quite glad it can be applied to me.

Lastly, I did not know that such satisfaction could be found by constructing the sentence, "The dead newt ate the 'Caring Fairy.'" (Which I might add is a grammatically correct sentance.)

Oh, and I did not know that you could change the time on this so that it displays the accurate time when I post.

Flaming Kiwifruit

Angry, Cheerful, Bloated . . .

Yesterday I did not know that no one could post comments on our site without regestering. An angry fan pointed that out today, so I fixed it.

Yesterday, I did not know we had angry fans. Hopefully they are now happy, filled with cheer if you will.

Yesterday, I did not know my brother is 'in a constant state of cheer and bloatation'. I knew he was happy and fat, but I had NOT thought of it in terms of cheer and bloatation.

Lastly, I did not know yesterday that pies could be used as bloatation devices.

See, you learn something new every day. Most of it you wish you didn't know, but you learn it any ways.

The Chimp

Nader?

Another interesting fact:

'All of the above except Ralph Nader' is an acceptable answer for most anything.

Definately didn't know that one yesterday . . .

The Chimp

The Coffee Table

Yesterday, I did not know that I cannot move our coffee table with just one hand.... Actually I can move it with just one hand, it's the lifting part that gets me. Sad, but true. I guess I'd better keep working out.

Flaming Kiwifruit

It Begins!

Here we will be posting things that we know today, that we did not know yesterday... as you may have gathered from the title. I will be simply known as the "Flaming Kiwifruit." My sister will be known as the "Complete Moron"..... OW!!!!! I mean the "Inebriated Chimpanzee" (Yeah that's alot better.)

Flaming Kiwifruit

Welcome to our mindless waste of time . . . both ours and yours . . .

First on our list of things we know today that we did not know yesterday:

Handzi the stuffed sloth can fit all the way through the ice dispenser on our refridgerator, yes, that is correct, ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

Well, that's all for today on my end folks.

The Chimp