The H()le Truth

Thing #148: Snow can be very deceptive.

As you may be aware, most of the United States has been coping with large amounts of snowfall, including Northern New York. You, however my not be aware that my church is nearing the end of a major building project which has spanned, depending on who you talk to, anywhere from five years to the past century. I think it is closer to the former.

So, in the interest of helping out and getting to play with neat tools, I have been going down to the church the last few Thursday nights and working on the church. Mostly I've been insulating heating ducts, which means working in a thin T-shirt when it's freezing outside and still sweating.

On a recent visit, I was headed back to my car when I noticed a van parked in the path most easily accessible. So I decide to cut across a snow covered area that looked something like the chart below.

^----------------------------------^

As you can see there were two mounds of snow with a long, flat path between them. At least that's what I saw. Removing the snow you would get the following chart.

|                                            |

|_________________________|

That's right. It was a big hole. Below the two charts are merged to give you an idea what was actually going on.

^----------------------------------^

  |_______________________|

I'm sure you have surmised what happened next

^--------             ---------------^

|______\____/____________|

Yep, that indentation is where I landed after jumping over the first mound. Talk about a rude awakening. I managed to claw my way out and go home, but there was a brief moment of panic. 

Moral: Looking before you leap is no help at all.

Kiwifruit

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(===========) <------Viking Longboat :)

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Birthdays

What we know is that birthdays are inevitable. We all have them.

What you might not know is that more times then not my birthday has fallen on a date where unnecessary travel in our county is not recommended. Often as a child plans for my birthday have fallen through.

This year, wiser as I am instead of planning events for my actual birthday we planned them for the day before. Although the weather was not spectacular we were still able to make the trip to Syracuse, watch a movie, consume copious amounts of cold stone creamery ice cream and hoffmann hotdogs, shop and have a great time.

The next day , as predicted, Phil and I were snowed in, unable to venture out to church or anywhere else until the evening. Luckily we had a cake mix in the cupboard and we were able to persevere. It was a good birthday :)

0 Grams Trans Fat*

Thing #146: Nutritional facts can be decieving, so remember to read the fine print.

So, tonight was my father's birthday. (Happy Birthday, by the way). Anyways, as is tradition he got to choose his birthday dinner, and as is tradition, he chose cheesburgers and tatertots. Same thing he chooses every year. So, I was waiting for the oil to heat up to deep fry the tatertots (It's important to point out here that I dumped half the bottle in the pot) and I started examining the bottle. Ian pointed out that it said "No trans fat".

Ian: Ah! See, no fat in it.
Me: No trans fat, there's a differnce, and as you well know, trans fat is a myth. It doesn't seem to be in anything.
Ian: Right, so how much reglular fat is in it?

Naturally, I turned the bottle around to check the nutritional facts which read: 14g fat. 14 grams, not bad, right? That's what I thought. Than I read the servings. Serving size: 1 tablespoon, servings per container: 252. Ok, so I used half the bottle, that's 176 servings or 2,464 grams of fat.

(Sorry dad, not intending to bash the health qualities of your meal... wait, you probably never thought cheeseburgers and tatertots were in any way healthy)

The moral of the story: Always read the serving size, and NEVER assume "no trans fat" means "healthy".

The Chimp

*Serving Size: 1 Paragraph
Servings per post: about 6
Total Fat: 1,487 g
Trans Fat: 0 g

Don't Drink (Tea) and Drive

Thing #145: Tea can be much stronger than I expected.

I love tea. This is a fairly recent development, but I've found that I enjoy a nice cold brewed tea. I've begun noting the various shades of flavor, the variety of taste in each different kind. So it was with great excitement that I perused the shelves at Target for some new kind of tea.

Now, as if my previous exultation of the greatness of tea wasn't enough, it gets worse. The tea I selected was something called 'Sleepytime Extra.' It seemed innocent enough, with a picture of a cute little bear, sleeping in an old-fashioned wood rocker. Then I got it home.

No, this isn't the part where the bear comes to life and attacks me. No, Katherine got to reading the tea. It has a warning and this wasn't some, 'Tea may be hot when brewed' kind of warning. Nope this was a serious warning involving the product not being intended for children and not operating heavy machinery. Yep. I slept great last night.

Kiwifruit

Rest in Pleats

Thing #144: Dead people wear clothes too.

And sometimes they need a new outfit.

I run across many strange things in retail sales. I've had more than a few bizzare and awkward conversations with my customers, but none beats the woman that came in the other day.

She was shopping for a nice, decorative, white button up blouse. Simple enough. I got the impression the shirt wasn't for her. It had to be very modest beacuse it was for an older woman. As we walked around the store and searched for one that would work I asked my typical probing questions about what the event was, what the person's tastes were, ect... I got an atypical answer. The conversation went something like this:

Customer: Well, you're probably going to think this is a little morbid.
Me: Ok...
Customer: It's for my 86 year old mother... who's dead.
Me: Oh...

What do you say to that? Turn's out they had a suit for her to wear for the funeral, but needed a shirt to go underneath, so I spent the next 20 minutes or so helping the woman pick out an appropriately dressy and decent blouse which her deceased mother would approve of. So the moral of the story is... actually, if there is a moral in their somewhere I'm not sure what it is. I just hope that someday when I die some nice retail associate will see that I am nicely dressed for my funeral.

The Chimp

A Slight Correction Or Two

Thing #143: There were a couple of errors in my last post.

As is tradition, and possibly law, in the 'news' business, I will now make corrections in the same section where the error was originally printed. This is not because I am under the impression that this blog is 'news,' but rather because this blog only has one section.

Error 1: I made a slight mathematical error, something that has become somewhat commonplace around my house. I stated that we had 55 posts last year, when, in fact, as astute observer and sometime contributor, Inebriated Chimpanzee pointed out, we had 56 posts.

Error 2: I incorrectly identified the author of "A PBS Companion" as Frank Stewart, but upon picking back up to read the chapter on Julia Child (awesome!) I realized his real name is David Stewart. I was a tad confused here.

Error 3: Writing a post to correct these errors instead of editing them in the original post an hoping no one noticed.

There you have it. Now I can sleep tonight.

Kiwifruit

Frankly, It's Been a Good Year

Thing #142: Today is Frank Wiseman's birthday.

Frank Wiseman made a series of groundbreaking documentaries for public television. I just thought it was interesting that I began a chapter on him in Frank Stewarts, "The PBS Companion" practically on his birthday.

Also, on an administrative note, 2008 was a banner year. After a slow (read, non-existent) 2007, we roared back, adding two new contributors and reached a record 55 posts on the year. Next year, we break 60. Or not. Whatever.

Kiwifruit