Writing, With Firm Resolve

Thing #150: The Declaration of Independance includes the phrase "manly firmness."

So was reading the Declaration of Independance today (how often do you get to say that?) which I thought I knew fairly well. It turns out there is a lot more to it than I thought. Beyond open explanations that I already knew (all the stuff about unalienable rights and the pursuit of happiness) the document actually includes a list of grievences against the King of Great Britain, including the following,

"He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.*"

Now, I would certainly not argue that the Founding Fathers were not manly or resolute, but it just wasn't the phrase I expected. I would have thought they would say something like 'opposing with great resolve' or 'opposing with resolute will.' At any rate, I'm sure the Founding Fathers knew what they were doing. Maybe manly firmness is more eloquent than I think. Or maybe they didn't want to be eloquent.

Happy Presidents Day

Kiwifruit


*-The Declaration of Independance

Stop and Smell the Tea Leaves

Thing #136: Closed caption is not a reliable news source.

Sitting in Arby's today eating lunch, I found myself watching the news. As usual, the volume was extremely low and the other lunch goers quite loud, so I had to rely on the closed caption. The anchor was talking about the auto crisis and the possibility of a bailout. He said something about the American people being disgruntled by this, followed by, and I quote directly from the closed caption, "But, if you read the tea leaves and count the noses you will see that..."

Hmmm... I hadn't thought about that. I just counted four noses (two human, one cat, one dog) and the tea leaves didn't appear to be written in English, and still I am no closer to understanding the Detroit auto crisis.This is why I never watch the news and avoid all things political. Way too confusing.

The Chimp

It Being Determined That Said Blogger Is A Nerd . . .

Thing #131: According to Article I, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution "the Vice-President of the United States shall be President of the Senate."

This question came up in last nights debate after Sarah Palin mention that the VP has the power to preside over the Senate. Joe Biden quickly 'corrected' her explaining that said VP can only vote when there is a tie and has no power to preside over the Senate. I thought he was right. He wasn't. Rather he was right that that is the only time a VP gets to vote, but not in whether or not the VP presides over the Senate.

Anyway, after watching the debate, I ran across someone pointing out this mistake while reading about the debate online. Then, after work today I did what any normal American citizen who has a question about government would do. I grabbed my copy of the U.S. constitution and started reading. After skimming it three times, I read more carefully and discovered the aforementioned sentence.

Naturally, after finding this out I had to take the chance to actually pull out an article and section of the Constitution like they always did on The West Wing. It makes me feel smart.

Kiwifriut

P.S. Thing #130 has not been skipped, it's just waiting to be completed. This may or may not happen. I can actually count.

Wired

Thing #129: I am a complete nerd.

Don't get me wrong, I already knew that I was a nerd, but a complete nerd? It turns out, this is true. It all started with a trip to the mall. Now, normally I don't like malls, but this time I knew there would be dinner involved, specifically one of those Chinese places where you get 3 meats and a side for $5.50. So I went.

When Katherine and I first arrived, we headed to the food court, past a music/movie store with life-sized cardboard cutouts of Barack Obama and John McCain prominently displayed in the window. So I did what any normal American would do. I had my wife take a picture of me in front of them and sent it to everyone in my family. This does not make me a complete nerd. It just means I happen to enjoy having my picture taken with cardboard cutouts/statues/action figures of famous people. (So far I also have Mahatma Ghandi and Ryan Seacrest. I never thought I'd mention them in the same sentence.)

Then we went to Best Buy and my wife and I convinced each other to buy a wireless router. This is where the nerd came out. Katherine dropped me off at home and went grocery shopping. I spent the better part of the next hour setting up the router, playing with the settings, and sharing our printer. Then we both took our places at our respective computers. Katherine went online and checked out various web pages. I, on the other hand, began pulling up shared folders, pinging her computer, attempting to hack her computer, and generally bothering her with all the cool stuff I could do on our new network. She was underwhelmed. Oh well, I'm going to go find some more thing to do on our network.

Kiwifruit

Win Your Neighbor

Thing #127: It is impossible for a candidate to win the US Presidency without winning at least 2 states that border each other.

I'm about 94.6% sure of this after about 45 minute of trying to do it on NPR's interactive election map. Also two 'v's (vv) and a 'w' look very similar on CAPTCHA's. CAPTCHA's if you didn't know are those oddly shaped letters that you have to decipher in order to post on, say, this blog. I learned that a couple of weeks ago.

Kiwifruit

Welcome Homes

Thing #123: Both of the guys running for president have a lot of money.

As you can imagine this was quite a shock for me. I just always assumed that all politician were good hearted saints who gave all of thier money to the poor, at least all the money they haven't spent helping save cute little puppies.

Seriously, though, now we've got this huge flap about John McCain having loads of houses, which they seem to have countered by pointing out that Barack Obama has a multi-million dollar home and, it seems, a private beach. Personally, I'm glad. I mean would you want to trust your countries future with a guy living out of a cardboard box? I certainly wouldn't.

This, to me, just drives home the point that it's much better to pay close attention to the presidential primaries and then just ignore everything until it's time to vote. The primaries were a constant debate about ideas, hopes, and plans, the meat of a campaign. Now we get Obama being compared to Paris Hilton and John McCain mocked for having a lot of real estate. Can anyone say middle school. (I realize most middle-schooler have neither houses nor Paris Hilton, it's a metaphor about petty name calling.)

So I hope somebody from these campaigns reads this, because, that would be just cool. And it would mean someone was actually reading this. But also, maybe then we could get some discussion of the issues that really matter. Like how may cars Obama has.

Kiwifruit

We Can Finally Afford That Toothbrush You Wanted So Much

Thing #115: Nothing stimulates the economy like good dental hygeine.

So we finally got our much lauded "Stimulus Check." So what did we do with our hundreds of dollars in free* money. We bought new toothbrushes! YEAH!

The Kiwifruit

*-To be paid for by future generations at a later date.

Keep Dreaming

Thing #98: Dreams can come true, just hopefully not all of them.

The Philadelphia Flyers have now officially made the playoffs. For those who haven't been paying attention it went something like this. The Flyers destroyed their competition and climbed to the top. Then they went, "Hey, were at the top, let's kick back and relax." Then they fell to the bottom. Then they woke up and just barely scraped their way into the playoffs.

On the other hand I had a dream last night that John McCain was announcing his running mate. It was my cousin. Like I said, not all of them.

Maybe I'll pick up Silent Mountain again. (<--- I did.)

Kiwifruit

Whilst Playing Racquetball . . .

Thing #93: I have good hand-eye coordination.

At least that's what Rob said . . . while beating me 15-3 at racquetball. It was a good time though. In between games he taught me some tips regarding where to stand, correct postures, and how not to slam into walls at high velocity. Also, I learned that concrete walls are hard. Really hard. So is the floor. After diving for the ball at one point, Rob congratulated me on getting the hit. I responded that I was too late and he agreed, but was apparently impressed with my willingness to sacrifice my body for the point. My body was not so impressed, as it has reminded me several times since.

After Rob left, I went to the exercise bike to wait for Katherine, who was grocery shopping. There's nothing like reading about the hotly contested Democratic race, whilst pedaling at an average speed of 17 MPH. There's a good reason there's nothing like this. Also, I like using the word, "whilst."

Afterwards, Katherine picked me up, and asked what we had talked about. The rest of the conversation went something like this.

Katherine: So what did you guys talk about.
Me: Racquetball. You know, proper stances, ect.
Katherine: Oh. You didn't talk about life and stuff?
Me (giving it thought): No, just racquetball.
Katherine: But, what about when you were volleying.
Me: We just volleyed. That's all.

Truth is, it's hard to discuss life and love and what-not in an echo chamber. Not that I'm against trying. It's just not what guys do I guess. Not like a hard and fast rule, just not really something we would think of. That's all for now. I'm lucky I haven't fallen asleep on the keyboard.

Kiwifruit.

Happy Leap Day!

Thing #90: No one really cares about Leap Day.

So, today is February 29th. This only comes once, like, every four years. Amazing. So, why are there no major celebrations, no festivals, no choirs singing. Well, I guess some choirs may have sung, but not in honor of the day.

Well, I care. So, in honor of 'Leap Day,' I'm have work tirelessly fabricating outlandish facts about the day. I would have used real facts, but I only know one (the odds of being born on said day are 1 in 14,000 or 1,400 I can't remember which), and I'd rather not go through the work of actually looking them up. Hey, if it works for the Times . . .

Here they are:

In 1983 the Senate passed a bill attempting to move the Presidential Inauguration to February 29. The House quickly squashed the bill pointing out that, as inauguration doesn't fall on a leap year, future presidents would have to wait over three years to be inaugurated, thus crippling the system.

In ancient Greece, being born on February 29th was considered a great blessing. Children born on this day were exempted from military service and given first choice in goats and Monopoly pieces.

In 1843, France officially declared that all people born on the 29th would be allowed to age every year regardless of whether or not thier birth date fell in it. French women everywhere protested.

There you have it. I'm going to go have a festival or something now.

Kiwifruit

A Song Quote

There are two great lies that i’ve heard/“The day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”/And that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican/And if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him. - Derek Webb, "A Kingdom and a King"

Okay, so I already knew that, but I hadn't heard it so eloqently put. Just some food for thought. And a good chance to quote a song line, which I already love to do.

Flaming Kiwifruit.