Lucky Me

Fortune favors the lucky.

It's true. I found this out while searching for S&S Pest Control today. After getting bizarre directions from BR, our office manager, which lead me to an abandoned house, I consulted my dad, the main salesman at our company. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, where's S & S Pest Control?
David: Huh? Oh, I think is down on Enterprise Road or something.
Me: Really? Bobby Ray's crazy. He sent me to an abandoned house in Opelika

My dad, David, got a good laugh out of this, although couldn't believe it, really. This was yesterday.

Today, I set out again. I drove down to Enterprise Drive. Nothing. Then I went down Centerhill Road, a branch of Enterprise. Nothing. I was about to turn around and give up when I noticed that a construction site on the road had signs up informing everyone that thier site was protected by S & S. It also included a phone number to dial. So, I called and got directions.

It turns out it was just a ways further down the original road I found the abandoned house on. What's worse? It was less than a mile down the road from my house. I pass it on a regular basis, which explains why I could visualize the sign in my head the whole time. Go figure.

Flaming Kiwifruit.

AR-336: A Copier Odyssey, Pt 6

Will it ever end? We'll see. In the meantime . . . THUD! There it was, a floor mat! It barreled under the car and came flying out the other side . . . Ooooh . . . how anticlimactic! I bet you were thinking it was something more dangerous than a floor mat! So . . . No sooner had the poor mat flown off down the interstate, than we entered the first monsoon of the trip.

The water pelted the car, the windshield wipers were trying their darndest to clear the windshield!It was a monsoon, no more, no less. And on the Silver backed monkey plume of death scale of monsoons, it was a 7 out of ten. Not too bad, but certainly not great. We slowed our pace, looking out for other vehicles which may be before us. It was long, torturous. Eventually, we saw clear skies ahead.

But . . .(Dramatic Music to hold you in suspense). . . . . . .It didn't last.

We spent two or three minutes under clear skies before we were hit by our second monsoon. This reached a 9 on the scale. We set the fourway flashers on and drove, or rather, crept down the road. It was even longer and more torurous. Most pulled off to wait out the storm. WE braved it! The little windshield wipers tried to help, but they could hardly put a dent in terrential downpours. So, we waited . . .

Soon we found clear skies once again. Daylight broke just as we reached Gainsville, our next parental checkpoint.

So I made the call:
Mom: Hi!
Me: Hey, we're in Gainsville.
Mom: Good. How's the triaffic?
Me: Not too bad!
Mom: Great! Well, Talk to you later. Drive carefully!
Me: We will. Bye.

So blissfully unaware. Ah, well. Ignorance is bliss. In case your wondering, I live in a state full of happy people. . . .

Hmm . . . such an anticlimactic place to stop, but my fiancee called, and, sadly for you, that takes precedent . . . at least you doin't have to wait in suspense untill we decide to post again.

The Chimp

AR-336: A Copier Odyssey, Pt. . . 5 . . . I think

Wow, this has really spun out of control. Kind of like that copier. So, where was I?

Ah, yes, the siren. So I checked my rear view mirror and lo and behold, behind me was a fire truck. Being a good citizen, I pulled to the side of the road to let the truck pass. So did everyone else. And it passed.

Now, one would assume that once passed by a fire truck, there would be nothing more to worry about. You wouldn't expect to see the truck again until you reached a fire/accident/cat in tree. However, as soon as I reached 65 I began to notice I was gaining on the truck. So was everyone else. Now, I wasn't quite sure what rules applied to passing a fire truck with it's sirens on, considering one would assume that the truck would be going at least the speed limit. So, I stayed back. So did everyone else.

For lack of anything better to do, we began speculating on why the truck was going so slow and who would pass it first. It seem the beat up station wagon with the old scruffy looking guy would do it, to me, but Rachel saw it differently. She was hedging her bets on the nerdy looking guy in the SUV. I objected.

Rachel: I think it'll be the SUV.
Me: No, no, it's being driven by a nerdy looking middle aged guy.
Rachel: Dad.
Me: Good point.

My father is a nerdy looking middle aged guy, who drives fast. Understand, I don't say this in mockery (since he's one of the few people who reads this), but rather with the terrifying realization that I will one day be a nerdy looking middle-aged guy. I'm even starting to get the hairline.

Soon after this discussion, I saw a little sports car coming up behind me.

Me: I bet it'll be that hot rod behind me.
Rachel: You mean the ambulance.

This is when I noticed an ambulance had come up behind me with its lights on. It was still a ways off, but I quickly pulled over, being passed by several other vehicles while I waited. And I continued.

Not long after this we saw the ambulance racing through the other side of the highway. We continued until we came to the aforementioned fire truck, trying desperately to turn around in the emergency turnaround thing on the interstate. It looked confused as if it had missed its turn.

And I was glad that I hadn't been in an accident in this area. Somewhere between the apathy and confusion of the emergency response vehicle, it would have been bad. But all was well for approximately 2.4 seconds. That's when we heard it.

THUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO BE CONTINUED

Man, I don't even think the trip took this long . . .