Wired

Thing #129: I am a complete nerd.

Don't get me wrong, I already knew that I was a nerd, but a complete nerd? It turns out, this is true. It all started with a trip to the mall. Now, normally I don't like malls, but this time I knew there would be dinner involved, specifically one of those Chinese places where you get 3 meats and a side for $5.50. So I went.

When Katherine and I first arrived, we headed to the food court, past a music/movie store with life-sized cardboard cutouts of Barack Obama and John McCain prominently displayed in the window. So I did what any normal American would do. I had my wife take a picture of me in front of them and sent it to everyone in my family. This does not make me a complete nerd. It just means I happen to enjoy having my picture taken with cardboard cutouts/statues/action figures of famous people. (So far I also have Mahatma Ghandi and Ryan Seacrest. I never thought I'd mention them in the same sentence.)

Then we went to Best Buy and my wife and I convinced each other to buy a wireless router. This is where the nerd came out. Katherine dropped me off at home and went grocery shopping. I spent the better part of the next hour setting up the router, playing with the settings, and sharing our printer. Then we both took our places at our respective computers. Katherine went online and checked out various web pages. I, on the other hand, began pulling up shared folders, pinging her computer, attempting to hack her computer, and generally bothering her with all the cool stuff I could do on our new network. She was underwhelmed. Oh well, I'm going to go find some more thing to do on our network.

Kiwifruit

Gone With the Wind

Thing #128: If the remnants of a major hurricane are heading towards your area, it's wise to secure your trash can.

I'm sure everyone's heard by now about Ike the hurricane that tore across America. We in Northern New York ususually don't worry too much about hurricanes, for the same reason people in Miami don't usually worry about snowstorms, they don't usually occur here. However, last night the in its final blow Ike tore through the area blowing over trees and taking down large swaths of the local power grid.

So, when I got up this morning and I had power and none of my trees were down, and my tomato plant was still sitting merrily on my porch roof, I thought nothing was amiss. That is until I went down with a load of stinky trash to put it in our cheap plastic garbage can. It seems said can took this as the perfect opportunity to runaway to some home with trash that is less stinky. Oh, well, c'est la vie (Two years of French and that's about all I know). Next time I'm tying the can to the tomato plant.

Kiwifruit

Win Your Neighbor

Thing #127: It is impossible for a candidate to win the US Presidency without winning at least 2 states that border each other.

I'm about 94.6% sure of this after about 45 minute of trying to do it on NPR's interactive election map. Also two 'v's (vv) and a 'w' look very similar on CAPTCHA's. CAPTCHA's if you didn't know are those oddly shaped letters that you have to decipher in order to post on, say, this blog. I learned that a couple of weeks ago.

Kiwifruit

What's That Smell?

Thing #126: Covering up bad smells doesn't always work.

I guess this one's a little obvious, but true, none the less!

You see, it began yesterday with an... interesting smell coming from the bathroom. Ok, so I know what you're all thinking, but this wasn't your ordinary bathroom "interesting smell". Last night the smell was still there, only stronger. That's when Ian and I were finally able to identify the odor as it had a very distinct scent to it, the smell of something dead.

Having confirmed that some small critter must have died somewhere in the wall/basement/attic didn't help much. It still smelled. The solution? Mom lit a delicious mocha scented candle and stuck it in the bathroom. Which leads me to the covering up smells part. I wandered in to brush my teeth and mom came by to ask if it smelled any better. The answer? No. Now, instead of smelling like something died in the wall, it smells like something died in a cup of coffee... Oh well. Now is the part where we scour the walls/basement/attic and try to discover the source.

The Chimp

(Ok Kiwi, what did I spell wrong this time?)

Poolside Epiphanies

Thing #125: Never leave a pastor alone with a bowl of potatoe salad.

Sunday was bright and sunny, a good day to have our monthly church fellowship dinner at a house with a pool. We swam, we fellowshipped, we had fun. Then came time to eat.

Whoever said pot luck dinners were horrible... well, you're right, they typically are, but not this one! We had steak, baked potatoes, potatoe and pasta salads, bread, and enough sweets to decay every tooth in America!

There was one problem, I barely got any potatoe salad, definately one of the highlights of the dinner, and many people didn't get any at all. After we ate, a few of us stood around discussing the situation and it went something like this:

Me: "It was delicious. I barely got any!"
Mom: "Your father almost didn't! And the pastor's wife didn't get any except what she scraped off the serving spoon."

This is the point where the pastor walked up.

Pastor: "That's all right. Tell her I ate enough for both of us!"
Church member: "I didn't get any either."
Pastor: "Well I had plenty!"

The moral of the story: Don't leave your potatoe salad unguarded with a pastor around. It may not be there when you get back. Other things I learned at the pool include:

-If you give water guns to people in a pool, they will shoot them at the dry people not in the pool.

-Don't try to toss people in. They may land on the cement around the pool instead. (Don't worry, he was ok, just a slightly banged up knee.)

-If you help the small child out of the pool every time they scream "OUT!" they will continue to scream it every time.

-Small children's floation devices are not suitable for 200+ pound men. (Yes, this was my father.)

All joking aside, It was a blast, and next time, mom will just have to make a larger bowl of potatoe salad!

The Chimp