Monday, November 21, 2005

Yes, I Went Shopping

A. Malls are EVIL. They are money eating monsters that only want to gnaw on your wallet until your cash all falls out the bottom and lands in thier hands.

B. Malls are GREAT. They have everything I need, which I could not even find looking all over Lakeland.

See, I went to the mall to get another box of contact, as my prescription was there. So, my Mom asks me to take her glasses with me to get the lenses replaced. This will take approximately an hour.

And how do you kill an hour in the mall?

I started by wandering over to Radio Shack. It was simple enough. I found a cheap 1/4" to 1/8" phone plug adapter. (This has nothing to do with actual phones, it's an audio thing.)

Then I wandered. While I was wandering, I thought to myself, "Gee, I bet I could find a charger for my cell phone here." So I scoured the map until I found a cell phone accessory kiosk and made my way there. I struck gold! Coincidently so did the guy running the kiosk.

Then I wandered. I got myself a drink and plopped down on a bench to wait it out. Then I was struck by the fact that I hadn't actually ever seen a fountain in our mall. It seemed strange to me that our mall wouldn't have a fountain, so I went off looking for one.

Instead, I found a shoe store. Now, being male I have a distinct distaste for shoe stores and under ordinary circumstance wouldn't ever go in one. However, these were not ordinary circumstances. You see I recently lost my favorite pair of sandals, my favorite pair of sandals being which ever sandals I am in posession of at the time. So I entered the store, and left with sandals.

At this point the sheer number of purchases I was making was quite ridiculous, however, it was everything I'd been unsuccessfully looking for the past month. So I returned to the eye place, retrieved the glasses, and left.


So that's why I hate malls. That's also why I love them. At least today. The rest of the time I just hate them. No offense to any malls that might be reading this. It's nothing personal. I just don't like you . . .

Flaming Kiwifruit

1 comment:

R's Mom said...

Hmmm...that comment was strange. I enjoyed your post Phil. I think you bought more than I did when I went out shopping the day after Thanksgiving on Black Friday! All I reallly got was a pair of ***** for John and a package of ************ - **** for Uncle Dave.

You must have the Sweet Shopping Gene.