Saturday, August 23, 2008

Beauty and the Beast

Thing #122: Men are civilized, women are savage...

I know, the last thing you expected to hear. And I'm sure many of you are laughing so hard it is difficult to read (Especially you women). But, it is the truth!

I have worked in retail long enough to know that when women shop, they transform into monstrous beasts that tear through your store leaving a trail of destruction. And men, well they transform too. They may be too stubborn to ask for directions on the road, but when a man walks into a woman's clothing store, they become timid and helpless creatures.

To illustrate my point, I will lay out two scenarios for you.

Scenario A:

Man goes into clothing store. He is looking for a shirt, but only because his wife FINALLY threw away all of his old ones that were ragged and full of holes.
He wanders around for a bit looking at shelfs and racks and tables with wide, fearful eyes. Suddenly, he sees a shirt. He decides he likes it, so he quickly grabs said shirt in every color available and proceeds to the check out.

Scenario B:

Woman goes into clothing store. She isn't looking for anything in particular.
She proceeds to the first rack, picking up, moving, and generally pawing through every item. Then the next rack, and the next.
Slowly, the beast begins to emerge. She begins to pick things up, walk around, toss them back on shelfs they don't belong on.
She heads next to the beautiful table displays. By now her transformation is in full swing. She goes into a frenzy, unfolding every shirt and tossing them all back in a pile on the table, the beauty now gone.
Finally she makes her way to the dressing room with the 14 items she has selected. She tries each one on, finally decides she hates the way she looks in everything and will buy nothing.
Before she leaves, she makes sure to take every one of her 14 items and put them back... in the wrong place.

So you see, I now spend my days and nights picking up the pieces left behind from these uncivilized encounters. I must now rest, and prepare to return on Monday, to try to bring some order to this chaos.

The Chimp

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go men!

sweet talker said...

Unless you are me...then you pick out two dresses, one affordable...one slightly out of your price range but still half off...you look fabulous in the first and then offer to try the second on for you husband who proceeds to tell you whatever it costs we are going home with the second dress

Kiwifruits of Fire said...

Do men often come into your women's clothing store looking for shirts? Just kidding. And for the record I only bought 4 different colors of the shirt. I still have 2of them.

R.Clancy said...

I wish more of my customers were like you sweet talker! Only two items! And you buy one!!

And for the record... I was speaking of my general retail experiences and/or knowledge of the shopping habits of men and women. :)

Kiwifruits of Fire said...

And the more expensive one. You should get her to stop at your store.

I thought about this when I wore one of those shirts this weekend.